“Expectations are the source of all suffering”. – Sanjay Dutt
Sanjay Dutt is someone whose life has been looked at, judged, and commented on a lot about the way he lived.
He has been a versatile actor and has acted in 183 movies and some of his greatest hits have been Rocky, Khalnayak, Vaastav: The Reality, Mission Kashmir, and my favorite Munna Bhai MBBS.
It was an honor to host him, though we had time constraints we couldn’t cover a lot, yet we talked about his drug addiction and his time in rehab. He openly spoke about the struggles faced by him after coming back from rehab, his time in jail, and his immense love for Lord Shiva.
I hope you enjoy reading this. Happy reading!
Love For Lord Shiva
I have always waited for this moment in my life to just have a conversation with Sanjay Dutt. My very first question to him was: When you look back at your life, do you look at it as intriguing?
“My life has been a rollercoaster and, to be honest, I wouldn’t want that life for any young guys out there. It is not wow at all.
It is just that a man from Kalish is looking after me and he always comes and rescues me from any circumstances. Lord Shiva is my mother, my father, my everything. He is my anchor, my pillar. Shiva is the universe and I love him. Since my childhood, I have felt connected to him”.
The Qualities Sanjay Dutt Admires
With podcasting, I get to deep dive into someone’s mind. I always feel like I have been gifted with this quality by God, the quality to connect with people. In podcasting, you end up asking certain questions that help you understand a person quickly. My next question to him was, What is that one quality that you would like to pass on to your kids?
“Always be humble. This is one quality that is difficult and it is just beautiful to be humble and to be aware of your mistakes and admit them. I practice it”.
We live in a time where there are assumptions made about everyone, especially celebrities. We all make mistakes, but people just focus on past mistakes and everyone needs to be allowed to look back and figure out how different they could have done things. I asked Sanjay sir if he could talk about the dark aspects that he has seen in his life?
“I have always learned from my past mistakes. Then may it be drugs, jail term, or cancer. I never ask why me? My approach to all my problems is how can I get out of it? I don’t pity myself. You always need to learn from the experience in your life”.
“Forgiveness is difficult, but it is necessary. When you forgive, you are a greater person than anybody”.
Different Phases Of Sanjay Dutt’s Life
When I asked him about the dark phases of his life, he mentioned drugs, jail, and cancer. So, I asked him about the different phases of his life.
“I got into drugs, just to be cool. I am a shy person, especially with women. When I did drugs, I just started feeling cool about myself. It started that way. You know 1 out of every 10 guys is an addict. May it be food, drugs, or gambling. I am one of that 10.
I was into hard drugs. When I was taken into rehab, they gave me a list asking me what all kinds of drugs I had done, and I ticked everyone on them. It was a crazy drive, and it is just because of my parent\’s upbringing that I survived this. There came a time when I wanted to get out of this”.
“Smoking joints has become common now and also legal in a few countries, but I cannot do it because I have got an addiction problem”.
“After I came back from rehab, I used to have flashbacks. I was shooting for a movie at that time and I just used to trip”.
“When you are into drugs, you kind of become a loner, and I became like that and I was a tough nut to crack in the rehab. I was there for 2 years, which is a pretty long time, as making peace with my addiction was difficult. There were 30 girls and 40 boys in my rehab and we used to go boating there, and have a barbeque. I started realizing that there is more to life. That was a changing point in my life”.
“There is no better high in life than life is. This is just escapism”.
You might be detected with an addictive personality disorder, but you can use this addiction toward good things in life, and build positive habits.
After talking about his addiction battle, I asked him when did the bounce back happen?
“When I came back from the rehab, random people started calling me “charasee” and I was like this is wrong and I have to do something about this. That is when I started working out and then slowly people’s perspectives changed. You gotta fight your battles”.
His Jail time
“I have always been humble, so being in jail didn’t break me when I was eating food sitting on the floor, or was sleeping on the floor”.
“Yes, go with the flow, learn things. I learned to garden, learned how to make paper bags, how to have a cold shower and I even learned to workout there. I read a lot of books”.
“There was one constable who told me never to hope. I was like how to stop hoping? I thought about it and to be honest, everybody hopes for something every minute. He told me to disconnect with hope and that I won’t realize my time in jail. It took 2-3 months for me to stop hoping, yet I tried every day. This was the biggest lesson I learned, the day you stop hoping and everything will come to you”.
Battling with Cancer
After all the roller coaster in his life, Sanjay sir was detected with cancer. I wanted to ask him how cancer affected him mentally?
“I wish this disease didn’t exist. I know somewhere out there, the pharma companies have a cure for it, and I request them all to please release that cure for cancer”.
“During the lockdown, I was detected with cancer, but everyone was scared to break this news to me. So my sister came and broke this news to me. I cried for a good 2-3 hours thinking about my family. Then I decided I need to stop being weak. I met the doctor, and the next thing I know my chemotherapy started. It was crazy that I used to get my chemo and then play badminton for hours, but that’s how you got to challenge this”.
“I started gaming again now. I am gaining my muscle back, and my goal is to become my old self back”.
I enjoyed the way he was open to talking about all the topics which people normally don’t. I am grateful for the opportunity that I got.
It was a great experience to meet Sanjay sir and have a great opportunity to have a conversation with him. The podcast ended with Sanjay Sir advising the young generation to focus on their studies, listen to their parents, and stay away from drugs.
Sanjay sir just has a very relaxed vibe, no arrogance. He has a great deal of depth, and this podcast can\’t adequately convey it. He will return soon. Hope you enjoyed reading this.